Found by fear

Facing fears is a powerful thing.

A sting when I'm wrong and if I had a song
for every time I felt I didn't belong,
I'd be albums thick as an old mans blues stick. 

Questioning who I am and where I'm at
has become a daily slant on progressive demands of self.
How do I be a father,
a carer,
a lover and a sharer
without drowning in the internal challenges
that leave me despairing? 

I just want to be good and focused
on a positive direction but where is my own direction
when it comes to positive reflection?
My deflection of internal direction
has been the prime inflection
of my minds infection. 

I'm sick of band aids covering the sores
of where my past has found me.
I'm tired of the perpetual masks I wear
but don't know flow of the man underneath.

Where do I turn when my mask is left burned
by the choices I've made.
I feel torn and afraid.
Though I just want to be me,
the path of the free seems too clouded to see
even from the tops of the trees..

It sounds as if I'm lost,
but the reality is that I'm actually found.
Found by what
is another story entirely.